Kittenzen: Living in Our Right Mind Part 2--the pleasure of praise

 "To be a saint is to be fueled by gratitude, nothing more, nothing less" (Ronald Rolheiser, The Holy Longing, as quoted in Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts). Voskamp's book awakened me to the power and the pleasure of gratitude and thanksgiving, and, as it turns out, to the power of the eucharist, which means thanksgiving ("and when He broke the bread, he gave thanks"). One Thousand Gifts begins when a friend challenges Voskamp to write down 1000 things for which she is grateful and it changes her life. She finds that gratitude itself, eucharisteo, is the path to enjoying life and drawing near to God. It is a way of living that changes how we experience what happens to us, our circumstances, our relationships.

In his book The Weight of Glory, C. S. Lewis says, "I think we delight to praise what we enjoy because the praise not merely expresses but completes the enjoyment; it is its appointed consummation." Mark and I laugh at the pleasure it brings us to repeatedly tell our cats how beautiful they are, how grateful we are for them, how much we love them. The cats, just by being, help us to live in our "right minds": to delight in Easy's kama sutra positions, to marvel at the discovery of yet more patterns on Mallory's tortoise shell coat, to give thanks for Janey's saucer eyes. We experience such deep pleasure in praising them and never tire of it because, as the old Doublemint gum commercial says, it "doubles our pleasure." I now know what it means for the psalmist to feel such pleasure in praising the Lord. Psalm 150 has come alive for me: let everything that breathes praise the Lord because it puts us in our "right minds" and just feels so damn good to do it!!

Kittenzen: Living in our Right Mind Part 1--mental telepathy

This summer Mark and I read My Stroke of Insight written by neuroscientist (brain scientist) Jill Bolte Taylor who had a stoke in her left brain. But the book is really about the right brain, which was the only functioning part of her brain during the stroke and for many months and years following as she worked to recover the functions of her left hemisphere. The left hemisphere is the seat of the creation and understanding of language as well as where we experience time, memory of the past and projection into the future. With only her right hemisphere functioning, Taylor could not create or understand language but she could feel people's emotions and read their body language. Because she had no memory of the past or thought of the future she could only experience the present, the now. When she was only in her "right mind" the busy chatter of what to do next and the voices of criticism and complaint vanished. She only felt peace and a deep sense of gratitude for and connection with all that was in and around her. She wasn't sure whether she wanted to retrieve the functions of her left brain and its harpy voices and busy-ness. She did, of course, decide it was important for her to come back from this place of peace in order to let the rest of us know that we have a choice to be in our "right minds."

Another book we read was Wesley the Owl by Stacey O'Brien, an owl researcher at Caltech who recounts raising a barn owl from the age of 4 days old until he died at 19. Wesley's beak and talons grew too long and were harming him as he aged but he fought her and injured her when she tried to trim them. Because of his advanced age she didn't want to use anesthesia so she tried imaging to Wesley several times a day for 2 or 3 weeks a picture of her gently filing his beak and trimming his talons, after which time he let her do it with no resistance. It makes so much sense to me that mental telepathy, this imaging, can be used to communicate with animals and with people, just as happened for Jill Bolte Taylor when she discovered that using her right hemisphere she could "read" people's body language and actually feel their emotions when they were near her (some people had to leave the room if their emotions were too negative--it hurt her brain to have them nearby). Another friend recently told me that she has noticed for a while that her dog responds to things that she is thinking before she even says them (she thinks "it is time for your bath" and the dog gets up and slowly and reluctantly walks into the bathroom). Apparently, according to O'Brien, research in such "mental telepathy" with animals is showing that it is happening between certain humans and certain animals.

Our attempts to practice mental telepathy with our cats have so far proved unsuccessful (or they just don't care what we think). But they are certainly helping to keep us in our "right minds."

Kittenzen: Stuff

My nephew Scott gave us a book Everything Here is Mine: An Unhelpful Guide to Cat Behavior which has been invaluable in understanding how we are now to think about our "stuff." That includes, among many other things, our favorite chairs (now occupied by cats), our plants (most of them gone since most aren't good for cats), and Mark's homework (yes, the cat ate it).

I was asked to give the sermon at church last week as my brother (the Pastor) was going to be away. The topic was the first commandment "you shall have no other gods" and Luther's commentary on the commandment from The Large Catechism. Turns out Luther has pretty much the same idea as the cat book: none of this stuff is ours! It is all God's and we are merely channels through which God's stuff and God's goodness and God's money flow to others. We are to operate solely as stewards do: we are managers of another's property. This avoids that all too frequent cause of friction between us when we either think somebody else has taken our stuff or that somebody doesn't appreciate the stuff we have given them. It relieves us from having to protect our stuff. It gives us freedom from dependence on the false security stuff promises. It frees us for the adventure God wants for us in our living here on earth: we are pilgrims who are only using the stuff we are given along the way. We are only stewards who get to dole it out sometimes, and that according to God's purpose.

So once again, the cats have been teaching us the Way: this isn't our stuff and they, the cats, certainly don't belong to us either! As one cat magazine writer put it, we do not own cats. We are only their guardians. We are to take very good care of them, as good stewards, and we are to take good care of the stuff in our lives, but always, as the cats know, to remember that it is only stuff and we are only channels to use it to bless the cats. Oh, and others.

Kittenzen: Lost and Found

Mark came home the other day from his morning run and showed me a well-worn glitter ball (sans glitter) that had found its way into his running shoe. He said that he kept thinking as he was running that he had put the wrong insole into his shoes because it didn't feel quite right. When he got home and took off his shoe, he discovered the yellow smooshed glitter ball. The kittens seem to love hiding and then finding their toys in shoes. He found one of the kittens' spring toys in one of his boots yesterday and we watched one of them put it in his slipper a few minutes later. We then took a look in his other boots for a long lost green mouse that they love and voila! there it was scrunched into the toe of the boot. It has probably been there the last couple of times he wore them.

So they put a beloved toy in one of our shoes, effectively losing it, and then try with all their might to get it back out again. What kind of game is this? Why does it give them such pleasure to hide the toy and then (sometimes) find it again? Like little babies they really like the game of peekaboo, too, and hide and seek--I hide somewhere in the house and they come looking for me.

Now, we don't have nearly as much fun playing this game! Lost keys, hidden wallets, single socks, missing tools, AWOL this and that....We get out of sorts and irritated with each other. We have taken to praying about that which is lost, though, alleviating some of the irritation and distracting us for at least 90 seconds, the time it apparently takes for adrenalin to level off once it is activated. Not that we think God spends his time taking our things and hiding them for us to find or, indeed, finding them for us. But whenever life's circumstances begin to overwhelm us, be they large or small, we are reminded by the writers of the Bible that we are to turn to God with our anxieties, with our cares, with our raised levels of adrenalin. So we have decided to take these odd little opportunities to work on developing this habit.

Kittenzen: Root causes

Our girl kittens Mallory and Jane are a little over 7 months now and are at times displaying some mildly aggravating behavior that we might attribute to being in heat. I am really not sure at all if they are in heat or just being kittens but I just made the appointment to have them spayed next week.

So yesterday Mallory, our tortoiseshell, was in our basket of bird books and clawing at the books and biting them which, once again, I attributed to annoying behavior caused by overactive hormones. I usually try to distract them from what I don't want them to do by moving them somewhere else or giving them something appropriate to bite on like a cat treat. But this time if I moved Mallory she beelined back to the basket and was not at all interested in any treats. My tactics had failed and I was at a loss. But Mark suggested there might be something in the basket she was after. Eureka! We pulled out all of the books and there at the bottom of the basket was the little gray mouse toy that is a perennial favorite of our cats. Mallory pounced on it, got it between her teeth and proudly pranced away. I had tears in my eyes because Mark recognized that her intention was not to annoy us or to destroy our books but to get something she had lost and that brought her great satisfaction. I had misread why she was doing what she was doing.

My sister Louisa who is an animal behavior specialist (particularly behavior of cats and dogs) taught me that animals generally have pretty good reasons for the "bad" behaviors they exhibit and it is our job as their "guardians" to understand why they do what they do. Only then can we address the behaviors. Just punishing them may work on the short term but doesn't address the root cause of the behavior and a repressed desire will resurface, as Freud would say, with a vengeance. You can't ask an animal why it is doing something and so you really need to believe that it has a reason--that puts you in an entirely different framework than you have if you simply think its purpose is to aggravate you by doing something you don't like. Believing that there is a logic to what the animal is doing turns the situation into a game of figuring out why the behavior is occurring and then your analytical skills are freed up to help you uncover the root cause.

I think we do this kind of misreading constantly with people around us. They may occasionally be doing something just to annoy us, perhaps, but generally annoying or even hurtful behavior is done for reasons other than we first think. It may be as simple as an attempt to get something that they need. And asking a person or child why they are doing what they are doing is always a good first step, but sometimes they don't know. Instead of giving up on them and just being angry or annoyed, think of it as a game of parsing out the underlying reason for or cause of their behavior: what is their mouse beneath the books?

Kittenzen: Hospice cat

When Easy and her kittens came into our lives I felt that they had a purpose: that they were healing cats. Most animals have healing powers I think, but my sense was about these cats that since they had been "thrust upon us" that they were to join our mission in life, to be healers.

One of the five kittens, the long large white one we named "Great White" (we actually thought at first that we had 6 kittens because in the mass of squirming newborns we saw a white tail so far away from a white head that we counted him twice) was the first to show signs. Easy developed mastitis when the kittens were only 2 weeks 1/2 weeks old and was at the animal hospital for 3 days, and so Great White took over caring for the smaller kittens, letting them all lie on him like a great downy pillow or covering them with his body when temperatures dipped below 75 degrees in the bedroom. He never shivered like the others did and gladly shared his warmth.

Fast forward to a week ago. My sister Sigrid and her family adopted our 3 boy kittens in November and they went to live with them on Vashon Island. They have 2 old cats, too, a brother and a sister about 16 years old, and the old cats didn't much care for the kittens so they mostly avoided them and glared at them when they came near. But last week Tabitha, the female, began to wane and the vet said she wouldn't last long. Now Great White (aka Sharkey) follows her everywhere and sleeps next to her and she is allowing it. He is, it turns out, a hospice cat.

When Sig told me this story it brought tears to my eyes. We are called to give solace and warmth to those in need, even the ones who are grumpy and curmudgeonly or maybe especially to them. Lord, give us the vision to see beyond the unwelcoming exterior to the heart.

Kittenzen: We Like to Watch

Mark and I got sick over the holidays, not flu, just head colds, but enough that we didn't want to go anywhere or infect anyone so we stayed home and watched the cats, our new home entertainment center. We watch the cats play, we watch the cats sleep, we watch the cats watch the birds, we watch the cats watching us....

For example, sleep. Although they sleep in just a few different places during the day, they sleep in a thousand different configurations like little shape-shifting sculptures, causing one of us to call to the other to say "Look at this one!"

And then there is nighttime. During these past couple of weeks they have been sleeping THROUGH THE NIGHT with us. Very few nocturnal rampages. Janey perched on Mark's hip as he sleeps on his side, Mallory tucked up next to my ear purring. Easy on her pillow by the window. Contentedness incarnate.

During this period of relative free time I thought to myself "I should read a book" or "write the blog." But every time watching the cats seemed a better option. I have never really been a "cat" person (always had a much stronger attachment to our family dogs) and to be honest I don't much care for cats in general but these semi-feral creatures living among us bring, as their cat food is called, "A Taste of the Wild" into our domestic life.  They bring art into our home from painting (see Mark's picture "Rembrandt Cats" on my facebook cover page), to dance (arched backs, tails raised swiveling around each other), to living, breathing sculptures asleep on our laps.

And they bring poetry, as Christopher Smart so completely saw in considering his cat, Jeoffry:

For I will consider my Cat Jeoffry. For he is the servant of the Living God, duly and daily  serving him. For at the first glance of the glory of God in the East he worships  in his way. For is this done by wreathing his body seven times round with  elegant quickness. For then he leaps up to catch the musk, which is the blessing of God upon his prayer. For he rolls upon prank to work it in. For having done duty and received blessing he begins to  consider himself. For this he performs in ten degrees. For first he looks upon his forepaws to see if they are clean. For secondly he kicks up behind to clear away there. For thirdly he works it upon stretch with the forepaws extended. For fourthly he sharpens his paws by wood. For fifthly he washes himself. For sixthly he rolls upon wash. For seventhly he fleas himself, that he may not be interrupted  upon the beat. For eighthly he rubs himself against a post. For ninthly he looks up for his instructions. For tenthly he goes in quest of food. For having considered God and himself he will consider his  neighbor. For if he meets another cat he will kiss her in kindness. For when he takes his prey he plays with it to give it a chance. For one mouse in seven escapes by his dallying. For when his day's work is done his business more properly  begins. For he keeps the Lord's watch in the night against the adversary. For he counteracts the powers of darkness by his electrical skin  and glaring eyes. For he counteracts the Devil, who is death, by brisking about  the life. For in his morning orisons he loves the sun and the sun  loves him. For he is of the tribe of Tiger. For the Cherub Cat is a term of the Angel Tiger. For he has the subtlety and hissing of a serpent, which in  goodness he suppresses. For he will not do destruction if he is well-fed, neither will he  spit without provocation. For he purrs in thankfulness when God tells him he's  a good Cat. For he is an instrument for the children to learn  benevolence upon. For every house is incomplete without him, and a blessing is  lacking in the spirit. For the Lord commanded Moses concerning the cats at the  departure of the Children of Israel from Egypt. For every family had one cat at least in the bag. For the English Cats are the best in Europe. For he is the cleanest in the use of his forepaws of any quadruped. For the dexterity of his defense is an instance of the love of God  to him exceedingly. For he is the quickest to his mark of any creature. For he is tenacious of his point. For he is a mixture of gravity and waggery. For he knows that God is his Saviour. For there is nothing sweeter than his peace when at rest. For there is nothing brisker than his life when in motion. For he is of the Lord's poor, and so indeed is he called by  benevolence perpetually--Poor Jeoffry! poor Jeoffry!  the rat has bit thy throat. For I bless the name of the Lord Jesus that Jeoffry is better. For the divine spirit comes about his body to sustain it in  complete cat. For his tongue is exceeding pure so that it has in purity what it  wants in music. For he is docile and can learn certain things. For he can sit up with gravity, which is patience upon  approbation. For he can fetch and carry, which is patience in employment. For he can jump over a stick, which is patience upon proof  positive. For he can spraggle upon waggle at the word of command. For he can jump from an eminence into his master's bosom. For he can catch the cork and toss it again. For he is hated by the hypocrite and miser. For the former is afraid of detection. For the latter refuses the charge. For he camels his back to bear the first notion of business. For he is good to think on, if a man would express himself neatly. For he made a great figure in Egypt for his signal services. For he killed the Icneumon rat, very pernicious by land. For his ears are so acute that they sting again. For from this proceeds the passing quickness of his attention. For by stroking of him I have found out electricity. For I perceived God's light about him both wax and fire. For the electrical fire is the spiritual substance which God sends  from heaven to sustain the bodies both of man and beast. For God has blessed him in the variety of his movements. For, though he cannot fly, he is an excellent clamberer. For his motions upon the face of the earth are more than any  other quadruped. For he can tread to all the measures upon the music. For he can swim for life. For he can creep.

I also thank the Lord for our cats, and I repeat:
"For there is nothing sweeter than his peace when at rest. 
For there is nothing brisker than his life when in motion."